There’s Been a Mistake……

The perfect way to announce an uh-oh moment. And no pronoun usage to denote blame.

August 5, 1948

I didn’t make a mistake, HE didn’t make a mistake, THEY didn’t make a mistake, but somehow, a mistake has been made.

This handy phrase comes from Michele, friend for life and therapist fantastico. So no one made a mistake, and yet, this is the unavoidable reality of the birthday I was not so keen on having.

Until I encountered this shop window in NY last month and thought- ” who cares what number the age is, as long as the goddess of Props is working overtime for my amusement, that’s all that matters “. And wasn’t this the perfect prop?

Photo, of Miss 60 – thanks, Judy.

It’s an oddity, being the age that only your mother was. And now it’s you. Look at the disparity of company I’m in:

President George Bush is one of many baby boomers hitting the age of 60. Some other boomers turning 60 this year include Dolly Parton, Donald Trump, Diane Keaton, Suzanne Somers, Reggie Jackson, Cher and Jimmy Buffett.

What a contrast – Cher, Dolly, me and Dubya. Don’t you feel a sequel to Nine to Five in the cooker?

It happens- you pass a store window, look at your reflection and think- “Crap, I really DO need Botox!”

But the rest of me looks pretty good, right?

Wasn’t i just the wise cracking 7th grader, who, when asked in English class, ” Does anyone know who wrote A Farewell to Arms “?, there seemed only one correct answer to this budding artist?? ” Venus de Milo”, I said.

I didn’t get a note home for irascibility, just a partially stifled guffaw from Mr. Lichtenstein, the teacher. And an appreciation of art AND English.

A lesson early in life: humor is a passport.

Now it’s serious stuff, the daily concerns of metabolism, exercise, favorite jeans that feel, well, like there’s been a mistake…..

So AARP mail that would be fireplace fodder if I had one, who cares? I get discounts to movies, for groceries, art supplies, my gym and on occasion, still get a cheesy, smarmy, obviously pathetic comment from the guys in the car wash that want to know if I’m 35 cause ” You be lookin’ fine”.

No, silly boys, you’re way off.

I’m feeling so good now that it’s as though I’m….

Thirty five, are they nuts??*%)#

My gift to you is the very funny and short Birthday Video from Joe Cocker- yes, please sing along and don’t stop too soon- it gets better as it goes:

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29 Responses to “There’s Been a Mistake……”

  1. Noel Luria Says:

    The real kicker is that Miss Sixty has a small, intense neon sign saying “special guest.” Bewtween the Miss Sixty and Forever 21, there surely must be a “Most-of-the Time 36.” Well Mom ride the “special guest” thingy for all you can, Happy Birthday and I love you very dearly.

    Your son,

    Noel

  2. judith wolfe Says:

    The happiest of birthdays to my excellent friend, Bonnie (who I know has all of her original parts unlike many of the others in the group that she noted who will be turning 60 this year too). Cheers, L’Chaim, Skol, etc, etc. etc.

  3. Carol King Says:

    Congratulations on reaching a very fine age looking very fine indeed!
    Happy Birthday and many, many, many more!

  4. Indiaartist Says:

    There indeed must be a mistake because you LOOK FABULOUS! Congratulations and keep the funny side up on all the occasions.

  5. bonnieluria Says:

    My Son- thanks for the clever and astute observation of the Special Guest addendum to the sign.
    I’m riding as fast as I can. Love you too.

    Judy- original parts- yeah- they made things a lot better then. We were built to last.
    Cheers right back to you.

    Carol- It’s a fine day to share with friends. Thanks for getting the wishes out really early here today.

    Indiaartist- hi! I appreciate the sweet and encouraging words . You have some lovely artwork on your blog too.
    Thanks for visiting and leaving a note.

  6. Nava Says:

    Hey, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

    You really do be lookin’ fine”.

  7. Nancy Moskovitz Says:

    Happy Birthday and thank you for giving us a great “you make my day” gift. You look fabulous dahling!

  8. bonnieluria Says:

    Nava-thanks for the bday wishes and the swell comment.
    I probably just lost all the young stud readers with this post!
    🙂

    Nancy- You deserve the ” make my day award”. Especially after that lengthy and generous post about mixing colors and color charts!
    You ARE fabulous dahling!
    Thanks.

  9. wrjones Says:

    You are looking lovely. Share with us how many men asked to take you for a drink why you were dancing in the street.

    Happy birthday.

  10. bonnieluria Says:

    wrjones- I was dancing to keep the men away. It worked.
    But it didn’t keep you away.
    Thanks for the birthday wish.

  11. Sharon Crute Says:

    So those are the words from Joe Cocker’s rendition of “A ‘Lil Hell from My Hens”.

    It’s just a number, Babe. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? Huh? Forever 21 me thinks.

    The very happiest of B-days to you Bonnie!

  12. david lobenberg Says:

    Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Now I know the lyrics. Try Frank Sinatra sometime…ya don’t need subtitles. I gotya beat by a yr. and a half, ya spring chicken! 3 more days left until the Olympics, comrade!

  13. bonnieluria Says:

    Sharon- how funny- a little hell from my hens! You’re a funny gal.
    That expression how old would you be if you didn’t know……- I just sent someone else a birthday card with that same sentiment!
    Ah, good minds, tuned in. Thanks for the bday wishes.

    David-Frank came from that wonderful era when enunciation ( and whacking ) was king!
    I’m having my Mao jacket picked up from the cleaners in anticipation…….

  14. w1kkp Says:

    Now, please, where is the oxygen tank when I need it. Venus de Milo authored “Farewell to Arms”?? Two or three big wiffs of O tank.

    Joe Cocker? Oh, please, another wiff. My fav.

    And found art, as you friend david lobenberg calls it, you having a ta dah moment under that sign.

    You are 60 and you are a gift to all of us.

    Several big wiffs from O tank after reading your son’s response.

    Jeepers. When love goes right, it is a bless-ed thing.

  15. nathaliewithanh Says:

    Happy birthday! Hope you got your 60 spankings plus one for good luck. You look truly amazing.

    And yeah, on that picture, you may need a little botox, but your tits look fabulous!

    Sending you plenty of love from Texas (one day late but I’d keep up better if you posted more often!)

  16. bonnieluria Says:

    Pat ( or as you’re known to me as Wikipedia which is what I thought your blog initials represented the first time I saw them before the ham radio revelation- and it applies to you so well, since you are the content queen who knows so many things about so many things, but I’m rambling now arent’ I?)
    I love your comments.
    Period.
    Love love love them.
    Period yet again.

    Nathalie- knew you’d appreciate the torso shot and if I can be happy with the word tit on my blog, then I assume ha-penis is not a problem on yours.

    Who has time to blog when one is pre-birthday?
    And aren’t I worth checking on even if you think there might not be something new?
    I’m not as fast as the Cheese man that’s for sure.

  17. nathaliewithanh Says:

    Bonnie, happenis is never a problem on my blog… However I’m not sure about coochy-cooching a donkey (which I still have no idea what it means exactly!)
    In regard to the pre-birthday blogging, you slithering snake, you are supposed to announce a birthday way before it happens not on the day thereof! Especially a biggun.
    Cheese man seemed to have had a lot of dog hair to drink these last days… I’m sure it helps oiling the synapses. AND I do check, quite often actually, but sometimes I have to leave my computer and go have dog hair too, you know.

  18. bonnieluria Says:

    Nathalie- first of all, holy cow, woman, you are like Zelig! Every damn blog I view, guess who’s in the blogroll?????
    YOU!
    You’re now a national brand.
    You probably have endorsements at the Olympics.
    I bet you’re getting more hits than the Gambino family!

    Coochy coo. How simple. It’s how you tickle a baby and the sound you make when you do it. It’s not dark. Nor mysterious.
    Maybe they didn’t do that to Belgian babies- too undifnified, I guess.

    And good luck with that leaving the computer thing. Let me know how it works for you so I can follow.
    You crack me up….

  19. razzbuffnik Says:

    Yep times flies doesn’t it?

    One day you’re a little kid and before you know it, you’ve turned 60. Glad to see that seem to have found a way to enjoy yourself.

    Stay away from the botox, it gets in the way of smiling.

    Loved the Joe Cocker video. He plays the most palsied air guitar I’ve ever seen.

    Congrats on your birthday and it’s only a number.

  20. Marian Fortunati Says:

    WOOO HOOOO…. I love to read your blog… It always makes me smile. Congrats on your birthday. Looks like you’re living well and enjoying every minute…. AND you DO look great.

    I’m a tiny bit older than you and just went on my first river raft ride today. My dad went with us …. he’ll be 90 in September.

    Ain’t it grand that we can enjoy the ride???

  21. joann Says:

    Happy Happy birthday! Puctures look great. How do you keep those boobs so high? Loved the video. Laughed out loud! Had mine last year and still contemplating the botox. Anyway, let’s keep going a few more years! Jo-Ann

  22. planetross Says:

    Happy Birthday!

    Yes a little belated, but that’s usually the card section you will find me in.

    I’ll have to start checking other peoples’ comments more often for juicy tidbits (or bacon bits) 🙂

  23. Jennifer Says:

    If that’s what sixty looks like – Bring it on! I hope you have the best of birthdays and the best year of your life.

  24. bonnieluria Says:

    Razz- that Joe Cocker video really hit some universal bone tickler in those of us who remember being taken in by his strange uniqueness.
    Now I think of the words to The Circle Game by Joni Mitchell.
    And you’re so right- it is only a number.
    I’ve known some very decrepit 30 somethings…..
    Thanks for dropping in again.

    Marian- firsts, at the ages we are now, are much more meaningful, I think, because we really appreciate them.
    And your father rafting at 90 sets a great standard for you.
    Thanks so much for the good words- I have some laughs when I put these together, and I hope they have that effect on readers.
    Thanks for letting me know that they do.

    Jennifer- how sweet- when I saw Judy doing the marathons up until she was 60, I realized there are no limits.
    We all have our role models, no?
    Thanks for the sentiment.

    Jo-Ann, those boobs stay high on ether!
    I think I’m really too scared to be injected with botulism. Why, I’m afraid of eating from a salad bar for fear of food poisoning…..
    Thanks for your sweet comments and the return visit.

    Ross-Belated is best because when you think the hype is all over and you’re as vital as the shredded newspaper that’s in the bottom of the litter box, pffft- along comes the late sayers to help you re-vitalize the sagging ( only ) spirits.

    You know there will be juicy tidbits when Nath drops a line or two!

  25. Paz Says:

    Venus de Milo? LOL! That was a good one! Love this post. Happy, happy birthday! May all your dreams continue to come true!

    Paz xxxooo

  26. bonnieluria Says:

    Paz- funny how I don’t remember where I left my glasses, but can remember something from 7th grade!
    Glad this gave you a laugh and thanks so much for your good wishes.
    Hope you’re feeling better each day.

  27. Faye Says:

    Oh how hilarious! You were brilliant to discover at such an early age that humor is so important! You are a hoot, loved the Joe Cocker video. I will never think of him (or Woodstock) in quite the same way again.
    thanks for sharing! And happy birthday – I hope you celebrate all year long!

  28. bonnieluria Says:

    Faye- Hi and welcome. Thanks so much for leaving a note here and such an uplifting one too.
    I just visited your wonderful blog ( and subscribed while I was there ).
    I had to.
    Your paintings are beautiful, your music related quotes are the bomb, and I’m guessing we grew up on all the same soundtracks and tastes.

    Great blog-

  29. sandrar Says:

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

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